When it comes to crossovers, video games generally get a raw deal. Now, I know you'll occasionally see character cameos within company properties, such as Pac-Man showing up in a god damned Anna Kournikova tennis game (because this apparently counts for something other than a monumental attempt to send fans on a suicide-binge), or two icons from separate companies team up to compete in the olympics (I guess in the spirit of competition? All I know is fuck you guys), and now fighting games will blast out an amalgam of characters from everywhere because a variety of skins to mash buttons to equals unending fun (blech). That's not what this post is about. I'm casting a jaundiced-eye more towards the like of Kingdom Hearts, but slightly different. What I'm wondering is what would be the best character crossovers in which the characters from video game X are swapped out for video game Y, but everything else about game X remains the same. Here's what I came up with, but I'd be interested in hearing yours as well.

1. Mass Effect Characters Inserted As Avalanche In Final Fantasy 7: Just to get the house-keeping out of the way, Shepard is Cloud, Ashley is Tifa, Liara is Aerith, and you can replace the rest of the FF7 cast with any crew member you like, as long as it isn't Kaidan because this is my dream world, so there. The idea of Shepard and crew zipping around Gaia, fighting off Shinra first and Sephiroth second, all in N7 armor with the weaponry from ME, is about as tantalizing a thing as I can imagine. The love triangle still plays out, there's even a bit of space travel, and Cloud's whiny bullshit is replaced by Shepards stoic resolve. Hell, it'd be worth it just to have the raging stereotype that is Barret Wallace out of the way.


2. CJ From GTA: San Andreas In L.A. Noire: This is strictly for comedy's sake. Replace whatever that chinless mope from Noire was called with CJ and watch comedy hi-jinks ensue. "CJ, it's the guy from your war past trying to kill people because story!" "Man, fuck that mother-fucker."

3. Duke Nukem In Deus Ex: This works for the opening mission scene, if nothing else. Hey, Duke, we've got not-terrorists in the Statue of Liberty. You want a stun gun, sniper rifle, or a rocket launcher? "Come get some!" That wasn't an option, Duke. "Get that crap outta here!" Mmkay, so you're going to go it sans weapons? "Gonna rip 'em a new one." I see. You know I'm your brother, right? And that later you'll discover that I'm actually working with all these guys I'm sending you to kill and that I'll have zero moral qualms about that later? "Groovy!" Fuck you, Duke.

What would you like to see in a video game crossover?

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